


Beetles

by Justamanlymouse



Series: Childhood Lullaby [2]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Howling Commandos - Freeform, Light Angst, M/M, Memory Fic, POV Steve Rogers, Steve goes down memory lane, TW bugs, just singing about them though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24388861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Justamanlymouse/pseuds/Justamanlymouse
Summary: Steve hears Morgan singing a lullaby that James used to sing to him and remembers the last time he heard it.“You know the wormy song? James sings it to me before bed.” He’s going to fucking vomit.“Oh yeah?” he manages.“Yeah.” she says, molding dirt very seriously with a little spade, “Said he used to sing it to you and it helped you go to sleep. You remember that?”For: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020Collaborator(s): MouseSquare (letter, number, and prompt): U5 Bucky/StevePairing/Main Ship: Past James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers, Current James “Bucky” Barnes/Tony Stark, though only referenced in passingRating (Gen, Teen, Mature, Explicit): GWarnings/Triggers: Howlie memories, Light angst, tw bugsWord Count: 721
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark, current, past - Relationship
Series: Childhood Lullaby [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1755946
Comments: 3
Kudos: 60
Collections: Bucky Barnes Bingo 2020





	Beetles

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [Strangling_Rosemary](https://archiveofourown.org/users/strangling_rosemary/pseuds/strangling_rosemary)  
> and [Riotfalling](https://archiveofourown.org/users/riotfalling/pseuds/riotfalling) for betaing!

“The worms crawl in! And the worms crawl out!”

“Morgan, what are you singing?” Steve asks, not nearly as casually as he intends to sound. He’s over for dinner, and James and Tony have effectively kicked him out. Something about needing to learn to relax. Enjoy the lake. Turns out he’s shit at relaxing. 

The little girl looks up at him from her place in the dirt where she was - given the song - probably digging for worms. “The wormy song! James sings it to me before bed.” He’s going to fucking vomit. 

“Oh yeah?” he manages.

“Yeah.” she says, molding dirt very seriously with a little spade, “Said he used to sing it to you and it helped you go to sleep. You remember that?” 

_“A slimy beetle with demon’s eyes,” Bucky sings, ducking as Dum Dum pitches an empty canteen at his head._

_“Chews through your stomach and out your eyes!” Jim jumps in._

_“Will you shut. Up!” Dum Dum all but roars._

_“No!” Bucky shouts back, with a grin that only Steve can see doesn’t reach his exhausted eyes._

_It’s cold. It’s so fucking cold. They’ve got a plan for tomorrow. Train day. This is a big one._

_The news reels don’t show how much of their jobs are hurry up and wait, it’s all action and fights and heroic… bullshit, really. It’s bullshit. In reality, it’s far more like this. Be at the right place and then wait for the right time. Try not to freeze to death while you do._

_“Your stomach turns to rancid grease,” Bucky sings, right in Dum Dum’s face. If it wasn’t for the job tomorrow the big guy might have decked him right then and there._

_“Guys,” Steve sighs._

_“Oh, come on, Stevie. You know the rest.” And Bucky’s giving him that look. The one that says that this is important. He sighs again._

_“Fine. Fine.” He pauses, finding where they were in the song, before picking up where Buck left off, “And puss pours out like melted cheese.” All but Dum Dum cheer. He sees what Bucky is doing. It is calming, really. A lullaby from home. A way to forget, even if just for a minute._

_“You spread it onto a slice of bread,” he continues, quieter now. The irony of such a nasty song being the thing that makes these grown men miss their mama’s isn’t lost on him, but it works. He thinks of Sarah, and Bucky and some of the guys are joining in with him._

_“And that’s what you’ll eat when you’re dead.”_

_It’s slower now, the silliness lost. Gabe looks like he’s about to cry, and he’s not alone. Steve looks away, staring at the top of their tent as they all finish the song together. He remembers Sarah singing it to him and Buck when they were just little tykes, determined to never rest, convinced they were going to miss something amazing if they dared close their eyes. He remembers Bucky singing it to him when he hacked up blood and puss himself, wondering if this was the time that he was going to be that body everyone watched travel down the streets. Remembers Bucky kissing him and promising that he wouldn’t stop. Not till the worms came._

_Buck comes over to him, and shamelessly crawls into his sleeping bag as the song ends. “Cold,” he huffs, curling against Steve._

_Steve had been sensitive about it at first, didn’t want the boys to get the wrong impression. “And what would be so wrong with that impression?” was Bucky’s only response. He’s right, no one had the time or energy to give a fuck, even if it was the sort of thing they would have cared about otherwise. And it’s not exactly like literally sleeping together was all that uncommon, especially now, as it got colder and colder with each passing day._

_They’re all quiet, most huddled in pairs. Something feels heavy, not quite right. They’ve always done dangerous missions, always going after the biggest and the baddest, but tonight felt different. Steve knows it isn’t just him when Gabe quietly breaks the silence._

_“Sing it again, Sarge.”_

_They would never sing it again after that night._

“Yeah. Yeah, I remember.” he mumbles to Morgan. He tries to smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.


End file.
